Busy making things

A while ago i went in search of a pattern that would turn my old long-sleeve t-shirts in to funky patterned leggings for Lani. In doing so i stubbled across a blog written by a lady who does some really fun crafts with her daughters. For example making paper out of loo roll (which is on my list for next summer)!

Also on her blog was a post about Kanzashi Tsumami, a traditional Japanese craft which uses small squares of silk to make flowers. The flowers adorn hairpins and hair pieces for Geiko (geisha) and Maiko. How i love Japan and thier traditional crafts! I have tried my hand at Kumihimo and a few others. So when i saw Kanzashi i thought 'I'm going to try that!'

A few months later i remembered the flowers and i found a few items of the kids clothes that i was getting rid of that would work for having a go.

They are 1" squares, i seriously underestimated the difficulty of of the craft!! I made one flower, it took me about 2 hours, and it's not great.

After i realised that i need something to cover the middle so i got out a 2mm crochet needle and made a mini circle and stitched in a few beads (my first time doing that too). I skipped a step in the flower making - i haven't used a base.

I have a list of things to get from the craft store at the weekend. Then I can make some more in the evenings.

I then decided that it could be fun for the kids, so i got out some food dye and paper towels. I had made some flowers with baby wipes and let them 'paint' them with the food dye (24 hours later and they still aren't dry). They used the rest of the food dye on the kitchen roll, we left them over night, and they weren't dry; so i stuck them in the tumble drier to dry them. Then i spent an hour this morning making 4 flowers.

Our coloured paper towels, they were Red, Blue and Purple, but the colours in the purple seem to have seperated creating the pale blue and rose colours:

Twenty 4 1/2" squares, sorted into piles of 5, I mixed up the colours so the flowers had some strong colours and some with less colour:

Flower petals folded and on the tread to make into a flower shape.

Three finished flowers.

I found some pipe cleaners poked them though the centers and bent them in the appropriate places:

Reading lyrics...

So, again i find myself questioning one of my decisions. Such is the nature of parenting i believe. I know that Kayne is gaining skills and finding joy in being at school but i am not. Truth is i miss him, I feel a bit like we've just lost something important; though i'm not sure what it is. When i fell pregnant with him i vowed i wouldn't put him in childcare so i could work, i felt it was a bit pointless having a child to be away from them 9 hours a day (though i understand people have to do this to survive). Now it feels odd that i have broken my vow because it's normal for kids to go to school. I thought hard about homeschooling but i worry about being good enough.
I guess in a week or so i will feel better. I know that it is good for him, he has friends, is happy, and is alot more confident than a few months ago. Also homeschooling is our back up plan - just in case.

I have been fiddling on Kayne and Lani's webpage, adding info etc. listening to media player. I rediscovered some of the songs i love in Dutch. After searching for songteksten i realised i can read it kinda ok. I mean obviously my vocab is like a toddlers but I can get the jist of a line if i understand a few words. Maybe it's because song lyrics are quite patterned and the words aren't that different through out a song. I find it interesting that i can (somewhat) read in another language yet i can't really speak it, nor can i understand a few simple sentences spoken by a native and i'd also have trouble writing anything because i struggle with learning the grammar.
But even still i love the band; Bløf, and the hiphop artist; Brainpower and a few others. I found this song today Engel voor één dag / An angel for a day. It's a beautiful song. My friend sent me this a while ago Omarm me / Embrace me, it literally made me breathless. The guy has the most amazing voice.
I just thought that maybe i find the reading easiest because i have strong reading skills - i read ALOT. I know why my speaking/writing is poor - i won't do it unless i know it's right. I realised also that i can sing the songs perfectly in my head... not that anyone would like to hear me sing out loud!
A while ago we found a great site for learning Japanese. I thought it was good because they explained why certain expressions are used in certain situations, also they went on to explain the Japanese 'pitch accent', e.g. the pitch variations within each word...which meant i felt i was getting it right more often.
Can you tell i am thinking about too much? I think i'm going to feed music through the T.V tomorrow and fill Lani's head with random songs in foreign languages. I think she needs more signs, she learnt 3 today; happy, sad and coat. She impressed me by using sad appropriately on person in a book who looked sad. I can't remember Kayne ever doing that.

Bank holiday

The end of the bank holiday weekend...
We didn't do alot this weekend. Saturday we went to Grandma's, Kayne practised on his bike, he is getting better at peddling it - but he is a long way off having his stablisers off. He comments on every child on a 2 wheel bike he sees.They both had fun at the park.
Sunday we went to Reading. We went to Hobby Craft. I bought some colouring books for myself. I love colouring in, i find it relaxing. I like when you've finished something and it looks good. We bought Kayne some Hama beads. We got some glow in the dark ones for when we decorate thier room. Kayne chose a UFO mobile. He had a good go at it but he struggled with the size of the beads. I've noticed more and more this holiday that he seems to have trouble with fine-motor. We also found some great adult puzzles so we bought 2 for us. We bought Kayne a 300 piece Horrible Histories' castle puzzle, Kayne and I have been doing it together. After we went into Toys'R'Us, Kayne, Mark and I oogled the Lego. we let Lani pick something and she wanted some 'Littlest Petshop' frogs (surprise surprise!). We noted that Schleich do knights and things - we are mentally doing some xmas shopping.
Today we nipped to town because i wanted to get some colouring pencils and water colour pencils. The kids played in the park on the way back. Lani insisting on going really high and fast in the swing. Kayne managed to traverse the cargo net bridge without falling in.
This evening Mark has gone to Ninjutsu/Taijutsu again. I hope he isn't as battered when he comes back as he was last week. But if he likes it then thats ok with me.
I think we have decided to go to the Saturday of the NAGC weekend - i just need to find our check book. We have also been putting together some ideas about how to organise the flat.

Up to April already...

Been up and down since my last post. We've all been ill. Lani is teething badly, i think it's 2 molars and atleast 2 front teeth, she has 11 now i think. Only 8 days till Mark's operation. Only 7 days till baby Amelie is 1.

I've been looking at some courses on OU. I need to exercise my brain and i need to find some things to do with Lani when Kayne is at nursery. I'm hoping to find a music type class we can go to. I'm leaving the group i've been going to for nearly 4 years. I feel i've just moved on from it. They can't help me any more. I've learnt to deal with my depression as and when it comes. I think i am able to minimise the 'down-time' it causes me. I think accepting that I may never get rid of it means that it only wades in when it is a big thing. Sorting out school issues has help clear my mind. I know i need to find things outside of my children.



I've been reading a lot about giftedness for nearly a year now. I was shocked to read that things that i do are consider traits of giftedness. But on the other hand not really, i know that things i can see and the connections i make, other people don't or can't. I always thought that that was just the differences between people. Mark can do 20 simple sums (+, - /, x) in 16 seconds (Brain Training). The one that really got me is that i can manipulate 3D objects in my minds eye - i thought everyone could do this, i guess it explains why i was good at product design in school.



Anyway on to a few pictures as i haven't put any on for ages;

The world looks better this way

I love you big brother

Whenever Kayne is laying on the floor Lani will come and lay on him. She snuggles him, and they lay together, It's so beautiful. You can just about see on Kayne's face that he's isn't 100% happy about this arrangement. He isn't always completely happy with being held and never really has been - it has to be on his terms. But the expression is more likely that they are nearly the same weight and she is squashing him!

Proper Lego!

Not completely got the finger skill to fiddle with it properly but it's more fun than Duplo which he barely touches anymore. Only bad thing about this stuff is Lani likes to put it in her mouth so Kayne has to go out in the hallway to play with it.

Lani at 16 months!

Good Update!

I'm really happy, I'm really shocked, and bewildered. We are moving! I feel a little aprehensive as if they are playing a joke on us. I can't believe that we will have our own place again for Christmas. I can decorate and stuff. Lani will have her first birthday in her own home. For some reason i want to cry, I can't work out why i feel sad. We have been waiting for nearly a year and moving to the ground floor is only going to bring good things - friends can come over etc, but i feel a bit meh... Maybe its the stress lifting, and revealing how i truly feel; tired and worn out.
We are going to see the new place on Wednesday, and then i am guessing that we get the keys on Friday and then hand our keys in on Monday. We have to clean the carpet but that will be easy (won't it?).
The weekend will be busy, and i need to get a few things. Like Mum's birthday pressie, Barts birthday+Sinterklass pressie. I want to get Mark's parents a christmas/thankyou pressie for putting up with us.
Maybe i will be able to get back to studying dutch which i am annoy that i haven't been doing recently.
I didn't mention last time that Lani is now letting go of things and standing for 20/30 seconds, she walks well holding two hands and quite well with one hand. She will be walking soon i think, well soon-ish. We have booked her booster injections they are in a couple of weeks.

The end of the weekend again...

hmmm well, it's the end of september which is scary. Leo went to uni yesterday, she is really not great with home sickness but i hope that for her sake she can stick it out. i guess i must be scary to go some place and know that that is now your home for 6 months. I felt worried when we moved here, but then i still had Mark and Kayne around so i knew i was ok.
Lani has again managed to make herself sick through crying, she gets herself in such a state. So no more leaving her. Well she wasn't really being left, she was in the buggy and she fell asleep. She woke up and was crying and i thought if i gave her a few minutes that she would fall asleep again, but she started coughing and Mark came in to pick her up and as he did she was sick into the buggy. She can stand for a coupld of seconds by herself now too.
I'm in a dilemma over getting Kayne tested.
We might be moving to a ground floor flat, the housing officer is coming to see our flat on Thursday - just to make sure we haven't trashed this one, and then when one comes up we can have it.
I've been learning dutch for a couple of weeks. I'm actually starting to 'get it'. I didn't make much progress with the book from the library, and the web page i was using didn't give enough examples. But i've found another page which i've been working through and so far it's going ok. I can some times understand things Bart writes to me, well i get the gist of what he is saying to me. though so far i haven't been able to reply, but it will come. Just trying to remember the different conjugations for verbs, oh and word order. but i guess with time i won't need to remember, i will just know it.

First day back

first day back to nursery today. Kayne went fine, was like we hadn't left.

Mark is on the 10;30 to 7 shift but it hasn't been as bad as i expected. I have been more organised and so it has been easy, well except that Lani is teething and so she hasn't been going to sleep very easily. Going back to nursery is also going to change the routines again! that we have just got sorted.

I've sorted my head out somewhat. Mark and i talked; Mark feels depressed which doesn't surprise me (secretly it didn't feel right that i felt that bad). He tells me nothing so as to make me feel better - but i know something is wrong and i feel worse because he isn't talking to me. it annoyed me somewhat as we are meant to be a partnership yet sometime i feel that we are together bacuase of Kayne and Lani. Sometimes i have not wanted to be here, i've been wondering if our relationship was over etc. Now i feel better about it all, we have started to talk in the evening and it's been better even in the 2 days that weve done it.
I went to mums the other night for 3 hours and did some scrapbooking. It felt good to do something i wanted to do that was productive. Bart has convinced me that i need to go and do something that makes me feel good, so inspired by something he said i'm going to go swimming on a Friday. What he said was: "like going to the gym for me. I don't always feel like going, but I know, when I'm done, when I'm standing in the shower, I feel my muscles and tiredness and think: 'hey, that was nice, I DID something' ". I'm trying to get Mark to go out and do something as i think that it will be important for him if he feels down.

Another monday...

We got back from Clair's this afternoon, we had a good time. Kayne got really travel sick on the way there so he will now be dosed with travel sickness pills before we go on any longish journey. I love Clair's house it was very nice, lovely nooks and crannies for things and places to hide. It was quite easy to relax and just watch Kayne running in and out. For his bed time story Kayne read, himself, about 4 pages of 'Big Pig on a Dig'.
I got my book on gifted children, it has helped me feel a little more 'normal'! I'm not so worried about him having/not having this assessment - i don't think he has asbergers, i think it's just because he finds the other kids 'boring' and they seem a bit alien to him.

I'm in love with music again :) i mean i have always loved it but i crave it at the moment - loving Brainpower all over again, i bought Justin Timberlakes' album. what i find is that i like one or two songs on an album and it seems a bit pointless buying an album for a couple of songs - i might have to get on to Tesco to download some - the only problem with that is they are probably only mainstream songs - not likely to have dutch rap on there are they?
I need to print our photo's through snapfish so i can do some scrapbooking. I need to do things for me - to find me again. Mark was saying that i always seem to need to have my likes/dislikes validated by someone else - maybe thats because i've lost myself?

Going to Reading on wednesday with Kirsty - baby shopping!! :D