Still plugging away

So we didn't get either of the houses as we were second on both. The first house had no more floor space than we do in our flat...so in the end we were kind of glad to not get it. The second house was brilliant, the garden was huge! The 3rd bedroom was quite small but the rest of the house was a very good size. But sadly we were 2nd again. But with 3 houses and basically 3 bidders off the list that could mean we will be first this time round (we have skipped a week of bidding also). We have bid on a house which has solid fuel (eg coal) heating, the garden is in the region of 100ft, there is a small school within walking distance. So we are just waiting to see if we get a phone call on Thursday.

I am refusing to think too much about it until we are 1st. Even then only if the house is suitable, there is no point in accepting a house that is going to be too small in a few years; we've waited almost 6 years a few months is nothing!

We have done the uniform shopping only school shoes left to do. Just over a week till he goes back. I'm going to feel very evil if he ends up back for only a couple of weeks but it can't be helped.

On not moving

We have bid a couple of houses in the past two months. We have been in the "first 5" on those occasions but obviously not #1 otherwise we would be moving. It's very frustrating to feel that it is so close yet not actually being able to do anything. We are at the mercy of the system. Also there are other things that make it hard to have to deal with, we will have to change schools and it's hard to know whether to tell the teachers at his current school/look at other schools etc. We have no idea where we will be so we can't say to a school 'Well, we may be moving into the area sometime from now until....well until we move'.

It's switch day today and Kayne's class was split between two classes. I saw a mum i talk to most mornings, i asked 'Is A in Mrs. H's class?', she replied 'Yes, but you may not be here in Sept'... Huh? Well we may be here still, so .... , I'm thinking she spoke without thinking but 'ouch'.

June already!

Today life stands like this:

Kayne is 5
Lani is 2 1/2

We have a nephew Alexander who is 2 months.

Everything is going ok, Kayne is finishing his Reception year and Lani is getting louder and more opinionated; she is somewhat potty trained - she gets too distrated sometimes and wee's anywhere.

We just put in a bid for a house in Hungerford, but with 33 other bids I don't think we are likely to get it. I can't wait for a garden to play in, to grow things in and for the kids to explore. For a house that will be organised and for our things to have a real place and not just somewhere to store it. This flat feels like a holding place to me, i can't wait for a real home.

I've read a huge number of books, both for me and to Kayne. Its interesting, i didn't think he would take much of the story in but sometimes he relays the story back to me and i realise he is actually taking it in.

Reading lyrics...

So, again i find myself questioning one of my decisions. Such is the nature of parenting i believe. I know that Kayne is gaining skills and finding joy in being at school but i am not. Truth is i miss him, I feel a bit like we've just lost something important; though i'm not sure what it is. When i fell pregnant with him i vowed i wouldn't put him in childcare so i could work, i felt it was a bit pointless having a child to be away from them 9 hours a day (though i understand people have to do this to survive). Now it feels odd that i have broken my vow because it's normal for kids to go to school. I thought hard about homeschooling but i worry about being good enough.
I guess in a week or so i will feel better. I know that it is good for him, he has friends, is happy, and is alot more confident than a few months ago. Also homeschooling is our back up plan - just in case.

I have been fiddling on Kayne and Lani's webpage, adding info etc. listening to media player. I rediscovered some of the songs i love in Dutch. After searching for songteksten i realised i can read it kinda ok. I mean obviously my vocab is like a toddlers but I can get the jist of a line if i understand a few words. Maybe it's because song lyrics are quite patterned and the words aren't that different through out a song. I find it interesting that i can (somewhat) read in another language yet i can't really speak it, nor can i understand a few simple sentences spoken by a native and i'd also have trouble writing anything because i struggle with learning the grammar.
But even still i love the band; Bløf, and the hiphop artist; Brainpower and a few others. I found this song today Engel voor één dag / An angel for a day. It's a beautiful song. My friend sent me this a while ago Omarm me / Embrace me, it literally made me breathless. The guy has the most amazing voice.
I just thought that maybe i find the reading easiest because i have strong reading skills - i read ALOT. I know why my speaking/writing is poor - i won't do it unless i know it's right. I realised also that i can sing the songs perfectly in my head... not that anyone would like to hear me sing out loud!
A while ago we found a great site for learning Japanese. I thought it was good because they explained why certain expressions are used in certain situations, also they went on to explain the Japanese 'pitch accent', e.g. the pitch variations within each word...which meant i felt i was getting it right more often.
Can you tell i am thinking about too much? I think i'm going to feed music through the T.V tomorrow and fill Lani's head with random songs in foreign languages. I think she needs more signs, she learnt 3 today; happy, sad and coat. She impressed me by using sad appropriately on person in a book who looked sad. I can't remember Kayne ever doing that.

School Day 4

We are on day 4 of school and everything so far is going great. Kayne had a little wig out on Friday because daddy did his shoe straps up too tight. We got his feet measures on Saturday and he's now a 8F, so a half size in 6 months? and we got a choice of 1 shoe...
On the way home on saturday Kayne started to count in 2s up to 30, then tried 5s but got a bit confused with it. On Sunday after going to Grandad's 60th party, he tried 3s and got to 21. He told me Mrs. J told him how to do it.
Everyone got reading books on Monday i felt a bit emotional at the fact the he wasn't the only one to have a book, is that wierd? I looked the book up (as you do) and discovered it was for a reading age of 7.5 - 8!! I think they may have tested his reading age again. The last test we did said that he was about that so it feels nice to have it kind of confirmed. Today's 'book' was actually a play, which he didn't find that interesting. I spent more time explaining everything than listening to him read. I'm sure some of it went over his head. He got stuck on words that were not phonetical - 'concentration'.
He also got a 'sound book'. I had to laugh as he not only knows all the basic phonic sounds but he knows what order they come in in the Jolly Phonics scheme.

Lani is ok, she misses Kayne when he is at school. I tried to go to a toddler group but it's not on for another couple of weeks.

1st Day Back

Kayne started his first day of reception. He was hyper from the moment he got up, literally galloping all over the flat and could not sit still.

We walked over to school, waited for a while until we went in. A tense moment when Max wasn't there yet but Kayne looked on the group list and said 'Oh Max is in my group - i just read his name up there'.
He just went off and tried to find a place in the circle, came running back and said he couldn't find one. I helped him find one and then that was it, Lani and i went home and read a ton of books snuggled up on the sofa.

When we went out to buy a few bits at Waitrose, Lani started yelling 'Ayne where are do? find oo'. So sweet!

Lani and i drew and read more books and she had a nap.

When we picked him up he said 'oh mummy i was so worried because you didn't come back and get me'. I said 'well i'm getting you now aren't i?' , he said 'oh yeah!'
He said they played letter snap, he made a fan from some card, and they did something with numbers. I laughed when he showed me the sheet. It had blank squares on the end of a row of pictures. He had turnt them into sums by putting a number in the box, then an equals and the answer! (adding the pics and the number he added on the end) ... Can't turn him away from maths!!

Lani smothered him when we got home. She missed him alot.

So the 1st was a good day but he has a habit of being fine for a week or two then it goes down hill, so we shall see.

Back to school

It's back to school on Thursday. I'm trying to stay relaxed about it but honestly, i'm not. I am having trouble sleeping, or if i get to sleep - i have trouble staying asleep. I feel a bit stupid ... period. I don't know why i am so worried about it, well i do but i shouldn't be. Last term was good, he had fun, they recognised his needs and challenged approapriatly. Why do i feel like something is going to go horribly wrong this term?
Maybe it's to do with what he has learnt this holiday. His reading is much improved from when they tested it and his maths is just super. I hate how school never tell you anything straight. I want to know where he is not 'he has completed foundation stage maths', ok but does that mean he is on par with YR1? I know it sounds pedantic but i want to know/gage where he is so i can be prepared for/to deal him.
What am i doing letting him learn this stuff? Although it's not like i can make him unlearn it! I think i'm going to have aplace in my mind that reads 'He can learn what he likes, if you don't like it -screw society i'll teach him at him!' Seems a bit drastic but it is going to be my / If all else fails / motto.
All the previous half-terms and holidays since this time last year have been horrible. This summer has been nice, he's been happier, busier and more relaxed than he was before. This summer has given back the little boy i lost when he went to Winchcombe.

Sigh breath and let it go.

Last Thursday we went school uniform shopping with Grandma. I found 2 pairs of P.Js for Kayne for £5 in M&S, i was impressed. His current ones are becoming too small, meaning he is finially out growing his 2-3yr sized ones! I managed to buy all his uniform in age 4 which is a first. the trousers will need to be taken up though.

At the weekend we went to Nannies house. Lani refused to eat anything other than scotch eggs. She is a complete meat-eater at the moment. I'm not too worried about nutrients as she still has formula. But it's infuriating sometimes and embarrasing when she finds something she doesn't want on her plate and preceeds to *throw it* somewhere away from her.

Sunday we bought a new bookcase and put all of our books on it. Surprisingly there was a free shelf and so we put all the board books on it for Lani.

On Monday mum came over and we went to town. I bought some new books to read to Kayne at bed time. I haven't bought any bedtime books for a long time. Mum bought us some too. We bought a few for Lani - ones with out tabs or flaps that she can rip out.

A bit of everything

This is gonna be a tired ranty kind of post. I have the knotted feeling in my stomache and i have no idea why.

i think Lani is teething again. She's grumpy at best. The only taking one brand/flavour of medicene is annoying as i can't keep her pain free. She is waking early, then is overtied at nap time. Today she had 45mins instead of the normal 2-3 hours. I'm so worried she is going to drop her nap. There will be no hope for me when she does. I haven't figured her out yet. She gets so frustrated sometimes and i'm not used to it. Or aleast not like she does it. Kayne got frustrated but he had more verbal ability (at the same age) than she does, i could talk to him about it but with her she just screams, stamps her feet and cries.

It's strange that they are so different, some how i seem too think that he had better language than Lani at the same age but i'm not so sure. Maybe the difference is that she NEEDS that thing right now! she MUST look at that particular blade of grass even though we have seen a gazillion in the past 3 steps....maybe this is the intensity i read about in other children that i feel Kayne is lacking in the assigned title of 'giftedness'.
Maybe i am looking at her too closely in comparison to Kayne. So lets see what does she do that is different to Kayne, that is unqiuely Iolani....
~ Pretend play... She loves her bears! She has been feeding them, puts them in push chairs etc, since she was about 13 months. She makes tea for everyone at Grandma's with their tea-set.
~ Mimicary... she repeats words, sounds, and sentance sounds instantly. Diego: can you say larga, lani: lar -ga . Her signing is good too, she understands the concept of signs and so when i show her one she repeats it quickly (the latest one is 'again').
~ Birds... I have just this second realised that she is obsessed with birds. She gets so excited when she sees one. she stamps her feet and shakes herself, shouting birdy! and signing at the same time. Nature i suppose is her big joy.
~ Climb...She is very physically gregarious, she climbs everything, up slides, onto our bed, moves toy boxes so she can get things.

Kayne is his uniform on his first day.

I was really pleased to get kayne's reading age, i thought it would help. But it seems weird, the books at his reading level he won't touch. The school ones he gets are good so far, i've noticed that they are slowly getting more lines on a page. Hopefully then he will be more inclined to pick books that aren't 'learn your ABC's' or something similar.
We've had a wobbly school week, 'i don't like it', 'it's got too much playing' 'i don't like it when they call me a star', comments which threw me a bit until i found out that the boy he likes is away at the moment - so i'm hoping that it's all to do with that.

I think i need to reconnect with my children. It sounds weird but i think that when you get comfortable with how things swing you forget that they grow, change and become new people right infront of you and in such a small space of time. I think that i have been trying hard to look at whether i am parenting the way i want to. I have needed this time to adjust myself and my goals - now though i need to be involved and relax (not that i've been letting them run riot, just been very introspective).

Adorable

Anyway on with a new day...

The English School System

Private Nurseries:
These take children from around 3 months old. The children can continue to attend until (and including) the term preceding their 5th birthday. e.g. children have to be in full-time education by the start of the term following their fifth birthday. These are open all year round and you have to pay monthly fees, cost depending on how long your children are in their care. You are often able to use the government pre-school place money against the cost of a session from the term after your child turns 3.

Pre-schools:
Most start from 3years until 5years, although sometimes there are places for 2 year olds. Mainly open during term time, they generally offer morning or afternoon sessions. Some may have all day session. They are often run in village/church halls and are sometimes called play-groups. you may have to pay a small fee for each session until the term after your child turns 3, after which the governments pre-school place money should usually cover the cost.

School Nurseries:
These usually take children the term after they turn 3. It is usually free e.g. governments pre-school place money should cover the cost. The first year is usually foundation (F)1 and the second is F2 or Reception (although some schools do use other names to tie-in with the rest of the school). Having a place in F1 does not guarantee a place in the school(ie: starting in F2), you still have to apply for a school place through your local council. Some school nurseries have a waiting list which accepts names from when they are 2.

I believe all of these settings follow the Early years birth to five 'curriculum'. Everything is based on learning through play.