Reading lyrics...

So, again i find myself questioning one of my decisions. Such is the nature of parenting i believe. I know that Kayne is gaining skills and finding joy in being at school but i am not. Truth is i miss him, I feel a bit like we've just lost something important; though i'm not sure what it is. When i fell pregnant with him i vowed i wouldn't put him in childcare so i could work, i felt it was a bit pointless having a child to be away from them 9 hours a day (though i understand people have to do this to survive). Now it feels odd that i have broken my vow because it's normal for kids to go to school. I thought hard about homeschooling but i worry about being good enough.
I guess in a week or so i will feel better. I know that it is good for him, he has friends, is happy, and is alot more confident than a few months ago. Also homeschooling is our back up plan - just in case.

I have been fiddling on Kayne and Lani's webpage, adding info etc. listening to media player. I rediscovered some of the songs i love in Dutch. After searching for songteksten i realised i can read it kinda ok. I mean obviously my vocab is like a toddlers but I can get the jist of a line if i understand a few words. Maybe it's because song lyrics are quite patterned and the words aren't that different through out a song. I find it interesting that i can (somewhat) read in another language yet i can't really speak it, nor can i understand a few simple sentences spoken by a native and i'd also have trouble writing anything because i struggle with learning the grammar.
But even still i love the band; Bløf, and the hiphop artist; Brainpower and a few others. I found this song today Engel voor één dag / An angel for a day. It's a beautiful song. My friend sent me this a while ago Omarm me / Embrace me, it literally made me breathless. The guy has the most amazing voice.
I just thought that maybe i find the reading easiest because i have strong reading skills - i read ALOT. I know why my speaking/writing is poor - i won't do it unless i know it's right. I realised also that i can sing the songs perfectly in my head... not that anyone would like to hear me sing out loud!
A while ago we found a great site for learning Japanese. I thought it was good because they explained why certain expressions are used in certain situations, also they went on to explain the Japanese 'pitch accent', e.g. the pitch variations within each word...which meant i felt i was getting it right more often.
Can you tell i am thinking about too much? I think i'm going to feed music through the T.V tomorrow and fill Lani's head with random songs in foreign languages. I think she needs more signs, she learnt 3 today; happy, sad and coat. She impressed me by using sad appropriately on person in a book who looked sad. I can't remember Kayne ever doing that.