Different

Don't you just hate it when you realise how different you are from everyone you know? Including your own mum? Grrr... Came home last night after an afternoon with my mum. An afternoon of 'what about socialisation/you'd be getting rid of him all dad' statements on homeschooling. Don't get me wrong she's great, but she acts like everything to do with Kayne is hard work. 'in a minute' 'when i've done this'...
We live in a flat, 1st floor, and at the bottom of the stairwell there were 3 of the girls who live here and another lady. they were cooing over Lani and asking me about buggies. I do use buggies although i wear Lani in a sling as well. And they started talking about thier kids, how they are always saying 'no...' 'don't touch' 'don't this don't that' ..... LOL and both Mark and i looked at each other and said nothing. We dont have this with Kayne, I'm not saying that he is perfect all the time, but i'm not constantly telling him not to touch/ or do this or that. or screaming him him as i hear upstairs doing. If he starts wandering off i just say 'Kayne come back please' and 99% of the time he complies. Actually thinking about it he's so so different to his peers it starts to worry me. My G.P noted that she would be doing his 3 1/2 year check in 7 months but said that he would already 'pass' it with ease. I'm gonna have to think about searching out some early readers soon as he is trying to learn :S I'm worried about his future and how to balance him socially and mentally so he doesn't try and get too ahead of himself (without holding him back). Hence why i want to HE (among other things) as i'm so scared that they will switch him off too learning by making him bored, and he'll waste himself (like my brother is currently doing for the same reasons).
*breathe* any hoo. i guess all bridges will be crossed when we get to them. Just tired of having no one to turn too who understands. Tired of worrying that i sound pretentisous (sp lol) when i try to ask people and them think thats what i'm like. or that i'm a pushy mum (lol i'm so laid back i'm led down!) or that i'm 'hot housing' him or something. I'm Not.

Easter weekend

well it was easter weekend. On Good friday we went to Mark's Mum's, and Kayne and Lani got toys from them from thier holiday. I did half an hour's driving!! I can go in a forward direction and reverse up a slope. I can't turn though! LLOL thats the next thing to learn.

On the Saturday we went to mum's and Mark got his hair cut - it looks fab. Didn't do very much at all. Was meant to do a bit more driving practice but we didn't.

On Easter Sunday we went to Paultons park, which was great. Kayne loved it, and we enjoyed every minute of it. He was fantasically behaved and i had a great time slinging Lani and getting loads of looks! Loved it.

Lani goes to sleep by herself in her crib - alone. i'm sure that it's to do with our more AP approach to her.

Me Slinging Lani

short and sweet

urrggghhh! it's been nearly a month

I hate the pressure of being a mum of 2 so bad at the moment. Everytime i think we are in a good routine it goes pear shaped. I have no one to talk about it too; other than Mark 'its fine' and Mum 'just do....'. Niether of which helps and i can't hack it.

Theres a new girl at group called Kirsty who i'm getting on with quite well she has two little one's and seems to be more like me than any of the others.

I feel like i'm an AP parent but i don't seem to be able to do it. I can't carry Lani ALL day like others say they do (i do have a bad back atm) She seem's so bored, again she's like Kayne and not, her brain is racing ahead of her physical abilitys and she gets cross. Unlike Kayne who got frustrated and was more like - oh ok. Kayne is wanting hugs all day today but i just feel like 'leave me alone' at the moment.
I don't leave either of them to cry etc. why am i trying to explain myself to a school of thought?
I'm feeling a bit crap at the moment, well more thats theres something niggling at me and i don't know what it is. Or maybe that's exactly what it is.

Lani's still Lactose intolerant, i think that she was just born with a low level of lactase and thats why she can't handle the 'normal' formula very well. oh well as i've said before only time will tell.

Oh, I'm going to be learning to drive. i have 'L' plates and i'm now on Mark's insurance, so Mark's gonna start teaching me. Excited but scared.

Thoughts

hmm... i'm fighting it. I'm sure it's not winning but i'm getting tired of the fight. There's nothing that can help, but i feel i'm getting swamped.

I'm always the one helping others so sometimes i shy away from everyone, my friends, my kids, my parents, Mark, all becuase i get bombared with thier 'stuff' although they don't know it. It's my problem i have to deal with it, understand it and control it but it takes effort and i'm nearly out of it.

Kayne wet the bed last night, the first time since he's been potty trained (3 weeks day/2 weeks night). I wasn't alot and i'm not worried. I was prepared for him just to be dry in the day but he's been doing nights too so that is great, and a few accidents are to be expected.

I sold some cloth nappies, that i got for Kayne when he was little, that i no longer want. I got £20 for the Large size stuff. Theres 3 other auctions running. i hope they sell - then i can buy lots of new nappies for Lani!

Lani is developing at an alarming rate, she's reaching for toys! She is so independant! If she doesn't like it, she'll cry, if she wants something she'll cry until she gets it. I'll have to keep on top of her boundries as she grows thats for sure. If we give and inch she will definately take a mile! She barely sleeps in the day, maybe 2 or 3 20-40 minute naps, thats between 6:30am to 7pm. She will drink 4-6oz every 3 hours and sleeps from 7pm ish to 4am, has a small feed then sleeps from 4am ish till 6:30am.

Lani reaching for a toy

I just wanna post a pic of Mark Baby Wearing (carrying a baby in a sling). I hope to get him to take a pick of me wearing Lani in a wrap.

Mark wearing Lani in a Fleece Corrie pouch