short and sweet

urrggghhh! it's been nearly a month

I hate the pressure of being a mum of 2 so bad at the moment. Everytime i think we are in a good routine it goes pear shaped. I have no one to talk about it too; other than Mark 'its fine' and Mum 'just do....'. Niether of which helps and i can't hack it.

Theres a new girl at group called Kirsty who i'm getting on with quite well she has two little one's and seems to be more like me than any of the others.

I feel like i'm an AP parent but i don't seem to be able to do it. I can't carry Lani ALL day like others say they do (i do have a bad back atm) She seem's so bored, again she's like Kayne and not, her brain is racing ahead of her physical abilitys and she gets cross. Unlike Kayne who got frustrated and was more like - oh ok. Kayne is wanting hugs all day today but i just feel like 'leave me alone' at the moment.
I don't leave either of them to cry etc. why am i trying to explain myself to a school of thought?
I'm feeling a bit crap at the moment, well more thats theres something niggling at me and i don't know what it is. Or maybe that's exactly what it is.

Lani's still Lactose intolerant, i think that she was just born with a low level of lactase and thats why she can't handle the 'normal' formula very well. oh well as i've said before only time will tell.

Oh, I'm going to be learning to drive. i have 'L' plates and i'm now on Mark's insurance, so Mark's gonna start teaching me. Excited but scared.