'a bright little boy'

Hmm i knew i was going to be bad at keeping this thing up, not to mention the fact that Mark has been hogging the pc every evening now that he has found free online multiplayer games.

Firstly Auntie Jan died on Monday evening.

i thought i was pregnant after waiting 6 weeks to come on - madness and a bit of panic.

Kayne has been at Winchcombe Nursery for a week and a half. He seems to have settled in very quickly. He keeps talking about a girl called Lucy. Every day so far they have said thats 'he's a very clever little boy' or 'bright little boy' and today the lady was telling me that he's nearly learnt all his phonics!! She even asked if i was doing them at home with him?! I said no as i didn't know them and she seemed visably shocked! She kinda of hinted (i think) that if he continues at teh rate he's going that he will be moved up. I also think she said that he's been doing simple addition, I said he's done some at home and that we were unsure as to whether he simple remembers things or understands the concept. e.g. does he just repeat '1+1=2' or does he know that if you have on brick and add another brick you have 2 bricks?School report in a few weeks, end of the term on the 20th. I'm excited by this school report, maybe i want confirmation of what i think he might be capable of, or maybe i will be shown that he isn't that different?

Lani is sitting! no wobbles not much intermediate stage, just bolt upright sitting, playing and self correcting. WE've had a week of intensive teething and no teeth. I felt a lump on her gum and then it was gone an hour later. I worked out that she drinks nearly 40z of milk in 12 hours! She's still not really bothered by food. I really want the BLW to work but so far she hasn't eaten (swallowed) anything; although today i'm sure a 1/3 of a sweet potato stick went missing - i guess i'll find out soon enough!). Got our cloth nappies :) they are quite easy really, but she needs some different wraps as the ME airflow are a bit gappy at the moment. I wore her to nursery every morning last week.

Lani sitting

Giggling Lani

Dragging it up to date.

Hello,

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6762795.stm
Yay real support of BLW

Lani is now sitting for several minutes by her self. she rolls to her front to get to things better. I think she know that she needs to more her arms and legs to get crawling but hasn't managed anything close to crawling yet and she is getting so frustrated. I don't think she has swallowed anything food wise yet but then her poo has been a bit harder of recent so maybe that is the mushed up biscuit. She loves marmite :)

Kayne has moved nursery to Winchcombe, we just can't afford headstarts any more. He can go back in September but i think we'll just leave him where he is. He seems to have grown a bit but i'm still a little worried about his really slow growth. but he is just as charming as ever.

I've had a good few weeks, I've had one day where i just got so frustrated with everything and i shouted a good few times. We are aiming to move soon to a ground floor maisonette down the road, we are going to view it on wednesday i hope it will be big enough. The i might be able to invite some friends back to my house and won't feel guilty about them having to bring thier buggies up the stairs.
Kirsty now has a bump.
I'm a little worried that i'm pregnant again. well i'll be happy but it will be hard. I'm nearly 2 weeks late but i could just be because my cycle is a little messed up.

We've re-arranged the flat it's all higgledy piggledy, it feels better but it's a bit wierd for people to take. Kaynes in his bed in our room, His room is the living room and the living room is now the 'play room'.

I'm hoping to buy some cloth nappies later this week and reusable wipes :)

Dreams and uptodaysies

I got the new Sims expansion yesterday. It's really pretty, they have worked so so hard on it! I'm really enjoying it at the moment.

Not done much recently. Kayne went to grandmas today. Sold 3 of my 4 nappy auctions. So i made about £60 this week, enough for about 5 Fuzzi bunz :) gonna put the last one on when i send the 3rd set. I might put the Kushies on aswell as i washed them the other day and they took about 2/3 days to dry! I don't like the system very much either. I put Lani in a fuzzi and changed her about 3 hours later. the fleece was a little damp and as I took out the liner is was really wet and i'd double stuffed it so it's really fantastic, to be honest i was really surprised at how good it was! So was Mark, his face was a picture when he realised how wet the 'stuffing' was.

Iolani modeling a red Fuzzi Bunz and 'Baby legs'

I was meant to be gong to Hobby Craft with mum and dad today but i guess they were busy. I was gonna get some more papers and embellishments. I need a new cartridge for my printer as mine seems to print 'streaky' and it's really annoying.

I had a strange dream again, and Oli, Leon, Hayley and Adam were in it. It was wierd something to with a war and to do with not seeing people for a long time. Not really sure what it was about. I had another one about Oli a few weeks ago. Mum told me to go for a walk with him and so i did and i took his hand and we just walked. It was by water and it was so pretty, and i felt love for him. I think it was probably a memory from walking with Mark. The feeling was probably an amplification of what i felt for mark and what i feel for Oli and maybe what he feels for his mum? I know it was a empathic projection as it wasn't from me : it was 'in me' if that makes sense? Also it was kind of the feeling i have for Kayne and Lani, that feeling that i would do anything to make things better. Which how i felt for Mark at the very beginning and what i would do for Oli now.


Mary J. Blige (Bridge), Will Smith - Tell me Why

Souls are captured
Dreams are stolen, hearts are broken
Evil blatantly rewarded,
Hate surrenders, Love exalted
Hope elated, negativity is shorted

Thoughts

hmm... i'm fighting it. I'm sure it's not winning but i'm getting tired of the fight. There's nothing that can help, but i feel i'm getting swamped.

I'm always the one helping others so sometimes i shy away from everyone, my friends, my kids, my parents, Mark, all becuase i get bombared with thier 'stuff' although they don't know it. It's my problem i have to deal with it, understand it and control it but it takes effort and i'm nearly out of it.

Kayne wet the bed last night, the first time since he's been potty trained (3 weeks day/2 weeks night). I wasn't alot and i'm not worried. I was prepared for him just to be dry in the day but he's been doing nights too so that is great, and a few accidents are to be expected.

I sold some cloth nappies, that i got for Kayne when he was little, that i no longer want. I got £20 for the Large size stuff. Theres 3 other auctions running. i hope they sell - then i can buy lots of new nappies for Lani!

Lani is developing at an alarming rate, she's reaching for toys! She is so independant! If she doesn't like it, she'll cry, if she wants something she'll cry until she gets it. I'll have to keep on top of her boundries as she grows thats for sure. If we give and inch she will definately take a mile! She barely sleeps in the day, maybe 2 or 3 20-40 minute naps, thats between 6:30am to 7pm. She will drink 4-6oz every 3 hours and sleeps from 7pm ish to 4am, has a small feed then sleeps from 4am ish till 6:30am.

Lani reaching for a toy

I just wanna post a pic of Mark Baby Wearing (carrying a baby in a sling). I hope to get him to take a pick of me wearing Lani in a wrap.

Mark wearing Lani in a Fleece Corrie pouch