Our cakes

Kayne and i have managed to make cakes twice. He really enjoyed it, altough he didn't want to wait 20minutes to wait for them too cook. Here are pictures of our first attempt...

Week 2 of the Summer Holidays...

Lani has almost cracked crawling - i mean very nearly. she can move her arms forward and her legs but she doesn't get very far. But it will come with time. She gets very annoyed when things aren't going how she wants or when i leave her view. We have had some da-duh noises and some ai ai oi kinda things going on, so her vocal noises are increasing. She learnt to clap today in about an hour - she is so sweet. She also can play peek-a-boo with a cloth and pull it up and down over her face and she blows bubbles/raspberries sometimes. She gets bored very easily she will play with a toy for a few minutes and thats it for the day - So different to Kayne, who would play with things for 20 odd minutes at the same age.

Kayne is starting to get a bit stir crazy without nursery. We've got him the last of the Jolly Phonics books so we can have a go over the next few weeks. Also we are going to try and continue the 'number pairs' but i need to work out a way of making sure we do them properly/in a sensible way. We believe he can read/recognise 20-30 words now. I'm beginning to wonder whether he has a photographic memory. He doesn't seem interested in trying to use his phonics to sound out words he just wants to know what they say now. Maybe he doesn't know how to use them properly yet and also he doesn't know the doubles which makes it hard. I'm going to try and make him some books to learn to sound out the words. like 'fat cat on a mat' and 'dog on a log' Some thing kinda easy and also with things in it he likes.

Mark is off next week and we are hoping to to some things out and about. Go to the beach and maybe to the Didcot railway museum, just have family time and relax and getting Kayne happy with things of interest, to bolster him and his self confidence and do some 'home education' in the fun way.

It's the middle of May

Lani had her dummy in as she's teething. Kayne looked at her and said 'oh no she's got her dummy in - now she can't talk!'

Lani has her blood draw tomorrow. I feel so evil for putting her through it. Her hands will be numb so it should be fine but it's still horrible. She's teething as well. There is a little pokey bit which is the bottom left canine when you look at her and also the top left front tooth feels like it's further down - you can feel it inside when you touch the bottom of the gum.
She's started drinking 8oz every 3-4 hours. She is waking up at 5am when it used to be 6:30 maybe it's just teeth as she doesn't have a bottle til 8/9am but i'm worried that she's going to start needing solids soon. I really want to do baby-led weaning but she needs to be closer to 6 months. Although she is able to sit up right and can bring things to her mouth and makes chewing actions so maybe she will be ready before 6 months.

Lani teething

Kayne constantly asks for food. I am wondering whether he is bored? Maybe he is just hungry but if he's busy he doesn't ask for food all the time. He is 3 in a week!

He may be nearly 3, but he's still my baby!

I want to get to a point where we do things together Kayne Lani and I. I find myself wishing Lani was 8 or 9 months, which is where i found Kayne was a lot easier to entertain and he was a lot happier as he could do the things he was trying to do. But on the other hand i don't want her to grow up. I feel all my time is wasted and we never accomplish anything day-to-day. I want them to find life exciting and fun, but i can barely get hour to hour, i want to home school desperately but i'm worried that sometimes i would just not be bothered. Well i would but that i wouldn't do something i could of because it was hassle. I am a bit depressed or maybe just melloncolly. Life isn't going how i want it too and i hate it all feeling like it's on hold. I feel awful for being forced into living in this flat and that there isn't much we can do about it.

Different

Don't you just hate it when you realise how different you are from everyone you know? Including your own mum? Grrr... Came home last night after an afternoon with my mum. An afternoon of 'what about socialisation/you'd be getting rid of him all dad' statements on homeschooling. Don't get me wrong she's great, but she acts like everything to do with Kayne is hard work. 'in a minute' 'when i've done this'...
We live in a flat, 1st floor, and at the bottom of the stairwell there were 3 of the girls who live here and another lady. they were cooing over Lani and asking me about buggies. I do use buggies although i wear Lani in a sling as well. And they started talking about thier kids, how they are always saying 'no...' 'don't touch' 'don't this don't that' ..... LOL and both Mark and i looked at each other and said nothing. We dont have this with Kayne, I'm not saying that he is perfect all the time, but i'm not constantly telling him not to touch/ or do this or that. or screaming him him as i hear upstairs doing. If he starts wandering off i just say 'Kayne come back please' and 99% of the time he complies. Actually thinking about it he's so so different to his peers it starts to worry me. My G.P noted that she would be doing his 3 1/2 year check in 7 months but said that he would already 'pass' it with ease. I'm gonna have to think about searching out some early readers soon as he is trying to learn :S I'm worried about his future and how to balance him socially and mentally so he doesn't try and get too ahead of himself (without holding him back). Hence why i want to HE (among other things) as i'm so scared that they will switch him off too learning by making him bored, and he'll waste himself (like my brother is currently doing for the same reasons).
*breathe* any hoo. i guess all bridges will be crossed when we get to them. Just tired of having no one to turn too who understands. Tired of worrying that i sound pretentisous (sp lol) when i try to ask people and them think thats what i'm like. or that i'm a pushy mum (lol i'm so laid back i'm led down!) or that i'm 'hot housing' him or something. I'm Not.