Love

Love, funny thing really, one of the most sought after feeling and when you feel it it hurts. It literally sears though you whole body. skewers your heart until you could cry - yet you crave it. A feeling of helplessness and surrender to one pure emotion that is so so overwhelming.

An emotion that it different for every different person you are feeling it for. But hurts just the same. Even if that person is sat next to you or what seems a million miles away it is the same. A song or poem you hear makes you feel it, makes you hate it, makes you want it. Makes you cry.

A dream you see does all of these things at the same time. I'm reeling from them; they are everynight and i can't escape them. I'm so exhusted from them even if i don't remember them. I can't block them, i'm constantly on block. I guess extra work is needed.


My love for people is strong today, the love they have for people i can feel and it makes me feel happy, sad, and so overwhelmed.
My love for life is strong today but situations make me so stretched.
My love for you is strong today and for that there is no exception

Dreams and uptodaysies

I got the new Sims expansion yesterday. It's really pretty, they have worked so so hard on it! I'm really enjoying it at the moment.

Not done much recently. Kayne went to grandmas today. Sold 3 of my 4 nappy auctions. So i made about £60 this week, enough for about 5 Fuzzi bunz :) gonna put the last one on when i send the 3rd set. I might put the Kushies on aswell as i washed them the other day and they took about 2/3 days to dry! I don't like the system very much either. I put Lani in a fuzzi and changed her about 3 hours later. the fleece was a little damp and as I took out the liner is was really wet and i'd double stuffed it so it's really fantastic, to be honest i was really surprised at how good it was! So was Mark, his face was a picture when he realised how wet the 'stuffing' was.

Iolani modeling a red Fuzzi Bunz and 'Baby legs'

I was meant to be gong to Hobby Craft with mum and dad today but i guess they were busy. I was gonna get some more papers and embellishments. I need a new cartridge for my printer as mine seems to print 'streaky' and it's really annoying.

I had a strange dream again, and Oli, Leon, Hayley and Adam were in it. It was wierd something to with a war and to do with not seeing people for a long time. Not really sure what it was about. I had another one about Oli a few weeks ago. Mum told me to go for a walk with him and so i did and i took his hand and we just walked. It was by water and it was so pretty, and i felt love for him. I think it was probably a memory from walking with Mark. The feeling was probably an amplification of what i felt for mark and what i feel for Oli and maybe what he feels for his mum? I know it was a empathic projection as it wasn't from me : it was 'in me' if that makes sense? Also it was kind of the feeling i have for Kayne and Lani, that feeling that i would do anything to make things better. Which how i felt for Mark at the very beginning and what i would do for Oli now.


Mary J. Blige (Bridge), Will Smith - Tell me Why

Souls are captured
Dreams are stolen, hearts are broken
Evil blatantly rewarded,
Hate surrenders, Love exalted
Hope elated, negativity is shorted