Making plans

ok, i did something about it - i went to the doctors, i'm back on anti-depressants. I'm not sure if i want to be but i need to be, i need to be good and strong for Kayne and Lani and for myself. I need to start doing things for me. I need to scrap book again, and i need to learn to drive.

I have a small plan:

1) Learn to drive
2) Do a course at the college - art foundation?
3) Look at uni courses/ continue another course at college.

i need to be learning i hate the feeling i'm wasting my life, i know looking after kayne and lani is important but it doesn't stretch me. I need to stop thinking i'm a bad mother - i know i'm not! I take alot more care of my kids and i understand them alot better than many people do know thier own kids.
I want to get married, i think we should save for that. We have resigned to waiting til the council house us.
I can't wait for Kirsty to go on materinty leave, then hopefully we can meet up lots. I think i should go see her at the weekend too.
I need to find things for Kayne - something that will keep his interest. Thinking of keeping £50 aside of my CB and letting him run lose in toys'r'us or ELC or similar. We must take him to the didcot railway. I was thinking of getting some costume patterns and making him some costumes.