Holiday and stuff

It's Kayne's 3rd birthday today.

We got off of our 5 day break at Butlins yesterday. It was great, Kayne had so much fun, we all did really. I learnt so much about him in the past 5 days that i am kicking myself that i hadn't noticed it before. He’s so funny, smart, sensitive, articulate, confident and determined. I would have never of noticed his confidence if it wasn’t for our holiday. We were in the ‘Skyline’ watching ‘Lemon’ do some juggling etc. then all the kids got to do some plate spinning. So Kayne and I got our plate, I’m spinning it and handing it too him, He was moving it around saying ‘Look a spaceship is getting you mummy’ and generally having fun. The Lemon said that they had to make up a trick and then he would pick some people to come up and show everyone. We span plates for another 10 minutes and then five kids went up one after the other. They got to walk onto the stage from the side, we cheered and then they showed their trick. So it came to the last person to be picked and the kids (Kayne included) were screaming ‘Me!’, Kayne said to me ‘he’s not listening to me’ and proceeded to strut off to the front of the group and up the stairs of the stage. Lemon was saying ‘oh so your going to show us one? What’s your name?’ Kayne ignores him and tries to get the plate spinning and so Red-Coat Chris helped him and he stood there with it spinning for a bit. Then he must have remembered that they came on from the side, so he walked over to the side of the stage. Then it turned a bit pantomime as on of the girl Red-Coats started running from one side of the stage to the other with Lemon going ‘oh no, I seem to have lost a small boy!’
It had Mark and I in hysterics. I would have never of thought that he could do something like that, but he was adamant that he would be going on next – they weren’t listening to him – so he did something about it.
We went swimming where Kayne tried drowning himself and Lani loved it. Kayne decided that he was going to do something and started to walk away from me and I didn’t get within arms reach quick enough and he slipped on the pool floor and his head went under. He didn’t have armbands on as I’ve tried him with them before and he refused to wear them so I ended up holding them the whole time. But I hope that we will go every Thursday evening and he will be wearing them. Lani adores water and I think it will be good to foster her love of it starting now and hopefully it will continue to rub on Kayne as it has done so far in the bath.

The choice I didn’t want to make is coming up, Lani is starting to consume milk at a terrifying rate of knots. We are talking 8oz every 3 hours and she is draining the bottle. She sleeps through the night and actually sleeps roughly 6-6, and has maybe an hour in the day. On holiday she drank an 8oz and 6oz bottle in one hour – that’s 14oz! and she drained both of them. There is 20 UK fl oz in a UK pint. I would make 9oz but you can’t mix it in the bottle!! I desperately want to do baby-led weaning but I’m not sure she’s gonna last to 6 months. Her teeth are nearly through i think. She also rolled front to back this afternoon in front of Leo and mum. She looked so pleased with herself.

Oli, my dearest Oli, buried his mum this week. I feel so sad for him. I just keep telling him that I’m here if he needs me. But I don’t feel its enough but there isn’t much I can do. I cried last Saturday about his mum and for him, it hurt that something like that had to happen. It just doesn’t make any sense. I know he’s resilient but I don’t like how he seems to brush things off. He never tells you the more serious thoughts in his head, or should I say tells me, he may tell his friends in Pompey but I’m not sure.